Dear Interceptor

vnevangeline @ 2009-03-19T15:27:00

2009-03-19T07:27:46Z

breathethrough.wordpress

Wherever I go

2008-12-07T02:33:50Z

Yesterday was a good day. Met Rebecca for breakfast and told her all about my trip. I then discovered the wonder that is "Red Man" thanks to Sheena. Chang E, J and I shall now be able to put my cookie and biscuit bible ($10 from Borders fair!) to good use. Then, we went to Night&day to watch Ben and Narelle perform, I think they sang beautifully. I feel.. at peace. For the first time in the entire year. I wonder if Nicky knows how much he has changed my life :)

Distant

2008-12-02T13:12:41Z

I can't believe the fucking protest is over we could still be over there I could still be with Nicky. I would still be able to see his face. Why? Why.

Met JJ and Chang E today and shopped for awhile. Bought a book because there was a sale and then sat at Coffee Bean for awhile reading it. Will be meeting the ISLE group tomorrow, I wonder how they're holding up. I miss him.

Nicky

2008-12-01T12:27:33Z

I am back, 6 days early. We all cried the night of the farewell and I cried almost all the way to the airport. This trip, I fell in love and my heart is breaking.. fell in love with Nicky and I miss him so much. Leaving him was more painful than anything this year, I never felt like I needed to protect anyone in my life, never felt like I could care about someone so much especially when I've only met him a week. He is so sweet and takes care of me so much. On the last night, Nicky cried so hard it was so so so heart breaking. The next morning we left before any of them could come to our house so we didn't have to say goodbye another time. Is it ridiculous to be this affected by something you've only been doing for a week? Is it crazy to love someone you've met just a few days ago and can barely communicate with so much? I miss him so much.

I learnt the stories of a few kids this trip and they're all so sad. Nicky doesn't even know his birthday, and yet you don't see their backgrounds in them. They run around everyday with so much energy, they look so happy you'd never have guessed that they are orphans or were abused or abandoned. It also makes you wonder how their parents could ever have abandoned them in the first place because they're so endearing. They are so different from us, and so much better in many ways. I think we definitely had more to learn from them than they had to learn from us. It was a great trip, I just wonder if it was better I never went so leaving won't be so painful. But then again, I wouldn't give up meeting Nicky for the world. Pictures from the trip... I'm sure you'll fall in love with Nicky too.

The place. It's by the river Kwai!

The kids

Kig & Kug

Mait

Nai

Pop and Kanoon

Outing to Erawan waterfalls with the older kids

Gardening/weeding on weekends

Roommates

Farewell party on the last night

U-tapao airport

And Nicky... so you'll know why I love him so much
I look so ugly next to him because he's so perfect

From Kanchanaburi

2008-11-27T04:51:03Z

Hi everyone how are you doing. We're all fine because we're hours away from Bangkok in a peaceful village away from crazy rioters so we feel quite safe. Quite funny to read messages from worried parents though hehe. I miss everyone like crazy I even miss training can't wait to get back!! 8 days more. Maybe the airport would still be closed and we'll be stuck here forever. My kid's name is Nicky and he's 11 even though he looks 7. He's super smart and super handsome even though he's a major brat. He copies everything I say, calls everyone dumb, and calls me Banessa or Banana. See what I mean? Brat. Wish I could post photos. I'm having an ok time here I guess! It gets better everyday. Maybe I'll love this place by the time 16 days are up. Ha ha

Everything's magic

2008-11-16T05:09:57Z

Wow, another 4 more days till I'm at Kanchanaburi, doing good and taking care of Thai kidz. Half a month seems like an awful long time to be away, I really hope I enjoy the trip. I also hope the food sucks. Becky and I spent half the day at vivo yesterday and had a really good dinner. Then we walked around and she bought the most awesome shoes that I would never be able to wear because it would only look nice on skinny people. Happy for you nonetheless Becky hahaha. Today is going to be a boring day. In the air I flew, through the clouds I fall

Pitterpat

2008-11-13T16:07:01Z

I just had a lovely evening with my best friend. We sat at Starbucks outdoors talking.. and the wind was so nice. Wish we could have more nights like these. Anyway, I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED i almost can't breathe. Sheena and I going HK!!!!!!!!!! Together!!!!!!! Too good to be true.

Love is passe and love is obsolete

2008-11-07T15:43:02Z

Truth is, I miss you so fucking much and there is no way there'll be anyone like you. But we drive each other up the wall all the time, we can't be so selfish, we can't do anything. There are a million fucking miles in between us. You are the ocean, I am the sky. We are in parallel universes. Do you see that? Do you see that there's no way we can turn back time again? I want so much to not have to believe that

Play Dead

2008-11-04T10:23:10Z

So 2 copies of I&R are completed and printed, put in a clear folder along with the cover page and entry proof. Hard to believe that project work is finally over!! I am pretty alright with my performance today, considering I failed miserably and got a 1/6 for Q&A during dry run. I actually got nods from the examiners this time! Pw is out of our lives forever, can't believe how much we suffered the entire year.. Ok can't believe how much David and Loan and all suffered the entire year. I was a useless group mate to be honest.

Hello Rebecca, sorry I've been so busy and cranky all the time. I honestly do miss you A lot :(
Hello Jane, good luck for A's ok? I love you very much, and know that you will do very well. I believe in you :)

vnevangeline @ 2008-11-03T20:22:00

2008-11-03T12:36:42Z

Who are you, what are you fighting for?

RJ027 is damn cool

2008-11-01T14:54:11Z

Let me introduce you to... my project work group's exact action plan. They (government) just thought of it a few months later than we did. We are so cool, I am so happy to hear this. I will stop boasting now, but oh my god I can hardly believe it. I think "Plant a life" sounds nicer than "Live on" hahaha

Aaron aaron aaron aaron

2008-10-30T16:30:54Z

We celebrated Aaron's birthday tonight, 5 days late. My favourite (guy)training partner always, look at how adorable he is :) And! It is such a miracle Chew Min wasn't trying to hide her face behind me. Ok only because I warned her not to haha. PW really really really early tomorrow. When this is all over, I swear I will fucking flush my PW file down the toilet

We were made for each other

2008-10-28T05:16:25Z

Went out the other day to Clarke Quay with JJ and Changz for bak kut teh. We then sat on the colourful light-emitting steps and shared secrets! Then the next day we went to JJ's house and watched movies (the reaping and my wife is a gangster 3), all of which were great. I woke up today and couldn't get out of bed so I skipped school and Becca's coming over now. I can't wait! Gotta go off, maybe practise my script a little. I am so scared of PW and PW people.... mostly people

A7X

2008-10-25T16:05:19Z

I was practically being trampled on and Junjie had to hold me so that I wouldn't fall. But after I somehow managed to squeeze out of the sweat infested, foul smelling crowd, the rest of the concert was pretty darn good :) Alright I'm really tired, the week has been rather exhaustive.

Lights will guide you home

2008-10-22T14:51:34Z

Training just about killed me. I don't know what to feel anymore these days.. Not sad, but never happy. Kinda, empty? I should be grateful I guess, I've always wished for this numbness, for the storm to die down in my mind and in my heart. I'm surprised at how far I've come, I've finally made it through my depression. I still do wish for you, I think I always will. But I'm settled now, doesn't matter that I am crying most days still (because I yearn so much for acceptance), I think I'm closer to peace now. I wonder though.. will I ever be good enough for you guys?

There is a way to be good again

2008-10-21T12:25:55Z

So amazing, it made me cry

vnevangeline @ 2008-10-20T22:08:00

2008-10-20T14:14:36Z

A for GP. Nice! Of course I'm not going to tell you the rest, duh.Will anyone do my I&R for me? I'll pay you $10! Hell, I'll pay you $50. What the hell does I&R even stand for anyway.. something and reflection? Hate PW go eat shit.

Further to Fall

2008-10-19T11:52:28Z

Saturday morning. I wake up and go to school where the ISLE group and I learnt how to converse in Thai and planned for our trip there. Believe it or not, I am actually quite excited about the trip. Anything to get out of the country! Rebecca came over after. Watched Girl with the Pearl Earring, watched Awake, watched Love Actually. I spent today catching up on the shows I've been putting off. Dexter, One Tree Hill.. I think it is time I organise the songs in my ipod. I have 5354 songs to choose from. Good night, tomorrow will not be a good day.

Tears dry on their own

2008-10-12T15:27:34Z

Came back from ISLE camp on Saturday, which wasn't all that bad, and then went to Chien Ming's house to stayover. Mostly watched House and had the most awesome chicken rice and slept on the couch. Got home later in the morning at 10 and then met Aloysius at St. Ignatius at 12 then we met Glenn. Went to shop with Chang E afterwards where I spent a disgusting amount of money. I am planning to go back for more some time this week. I am going mad I think

vnevangeline @ 2008-10-08T21:23:00

2008-10-08T13:24:32Z

Everything's coming back again..
I am in so much trouble

_l_ PW

2008-10-06T12:34:21Z

Project work oral presentation dry run. Failed miserably
Must! Talk! Like! THIS!!!!!
Also, I have a permanent scar on my cornea now thank you very much

These white lights will bend to make blue

2008-10-04T03:01:17Z

My hell comes from inside, comes from inside myself. Why fight this? Everyone's afraid of their own lives. If you could be anything you want I bet you'd be disappointed, am I right?

vnevangeline @ 2008-10-03T17:43:00

2008-10-03T09:46:31Z

I wonder if there is anyone else in the world who is actually afraid to look in the mirror, or will cringe when they do so. When I do look in the mirror, I want to scream YOU R FUCKING DISGUSTING EWW and then kick and cry and tear out my hair. Hahahahaha

How I wish this was all over.. so tired!

I Hate My Eye

2008-10-03T03:06:09Z

EVERYONE IS OUT ENJOYING POST PROMOS AND I'M STUCK AT HOME WITH MY EYE!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

Becky and I went to Sunset Bay on her birthday. We lay there listening to songs and staring at the sky and we cut her cake together. Halfway through, this weird guy from Mumbai (Who's an investment banker btw) came and sat with us. He started talking to us it was so funny.

vnevangeline @ 2008-10-02T09:27:00

2008-10-02T01:36:44Z

Wow, people can be really uncaring.. Not even a word of concern. Anyway, Aloysius was really nice and visited yesterday even though I wasn't much company. All he could do was lie in bed in the dark with me while I whined about my stupid eye. I think Chang and Ros are coming later!! :) I must sound super dependant and troublesome to you now, but I have truly been suffering :(